Family Drama, Early Death?
 

Don't go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.

Good quip, bad advice. A recent study shows that constant conflict at home can cause death.

A Danish study tracked people over a decade. The researchers found that those who experienced high levels of stress from partners or children or other family members were far more likely to die. Arguments, demands, and stressful concerns from the follks at home were associated with 50-100% increased risk of death.

Another major predictor of death was unemployment and men are more vulnerable than women to the negative effects of stress at home.

So how can you defuse family drama? One tool is learning how to talk to others in a way that doesn't escalate conflict. Express your opinions using "I-messages" rather than "You-statements." For example, "I would appreciate it if you gave me a hand with the dishes," yields a better response than "You never help me clean up." Avoid bringing up touchy topics while you're still upset. And when you do have to refuse someone's request, say "No," not "Hell, no!"

Here's hoping you have a harmonious home and a long life!

Find out more about the study.... 

 Maya Angelou - Phenomenal Woman
 


I was a young freelance reporter, writing stories for a news service that distributed stories for black newspapers throughout the country. I was thrilled when I was assigned to interview Maya Angelou.

In my exciement to meet a celebrity and to show off my journalistic efficiency, I peppered her with questions and once the interview was over, I snapped my notebook shut and ran off.

"Thank you!" Ms. Angelou called out after me, pointedly.

Oh! So busy trying to be cool, I had forgotten my manners. "No, thank YOU," I immediately responded, chastened. I was grateful for the gracious way she reminded me how to be courteous and professional.

Later, I would bring Maya Angelou into my middle school classroom as an example of poise and professionalism. I have a video of her reciting her poem, "Still, I Rise." She's so smooth that unless you have the poem in front of you, you won't catch the fact that she flubs a few lines. I used the video to show my poetry slam students how to recover and keep it moving if they make a mistake.

She was a living testimony of class and talent. Truly, a Phenomenal Woman.